The Difference
by Jenn Lopez
Where to start? So Edgar and I have always been a little different, our views on things, how we go about things, always similar but a little different. So it's not surprising that when it came to this trip, we also did things a little differently.
Some people travel full time, or have a home and go on vacation. We’re not doing either of those things. There’s an end to this trip but where, we don’t know. We haven’t been calling this 9 month trip “an adventure” by accident or to make it sound cool. We are not on a vacation, and we’re not staying anywhere long enough to actually say we live there. But we are living in places for weeks at a time, and our day-to-day lives happen within the span of this time. It’s not long enough to make a place a home, but we’re there long enough that it needs to be comfortable. It’s a lot of work and a bit of a balancing act.
So with our travel not being a vacation but more like life with all the emotional ups and downs that goes with it, the best we could come up with to describe what we’re doing was an adventure. Besides, adventure usually has a positive connotation to it, which is sometimes needed when shit is hitting the fan.
Another difference, we’re not that picture perfect Instagram family that will show you all the best ways to travel and where to go and what to do. We’re just us, going through life, and trying to document the things we choose to do. We don’t know the best way to do anything, we’re just finding out what works for us and not all of it will be interesting because we’re not doing this trip for anyone else. We pick and choose what we do based on our interests, our timeline, our energy levels, and our budget.
Sometimes speaking about what you’re doing is the best way to get perspective on things and traveling is always more fun when you get a chance to meet others and actually have a chat about what each other is doing. I usually stumble through the explanation of what we’re doing and not eloquently. Recently in one of those conversations, it was pointed out that everyone goes through ups and downs in life, even on vacation, but they would prefer to go through a down say... in Italy. And I had to admit that yeah, that sounded pretty good.
As we met more people, I noticed that because we're doing something really different, I've been having a hard time explaining what we’re doing, and why we’re doing it. I end up sounding like I’m either trying to sell what we’re doing or other times overcompensating with negatives to undersell what we’re doing. I don’t want to make it sound like life is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong, and at the same time, I don’t want to complain about things and sound completely ungrateful that we have this opportunity. Again it’s a balancing act that I’m far from perfecting.
I have had some great chats with friends and with other people we’ve met. And no matter how badly I stumbled my way through the explanation, people for the most part are awesome and understanding and excited for us. And if I mention some of the less glamorous parts of travel life, they’re quick to hear me out but to also bring the negative to a positive light.
On the other spectrum, we have friends who have distanced themselves, because when we talk about what’s going on in our lives, the day-to-day stuff of traveling, it seems to be too much for them. When we do chat, the pressure to mention the hard or negative things to make it more digestible for them is honestly hard. When things are actually going great, which is not as frequently as I’d like, it's hard to have to bring my excitement down or to have to focus on the hard parts so they feel better about our experience. Maybe it’s the people pleaser in me trying to make things ok for people, but life is hard and that doesn’t stop because you’re traveling.
Hindsight is always 20/20, and yup, if I had my time back, man would I have said, done, packed... differently. Going through the exercise of what could have been different never amounts to anything good though does it? If I had done this or that differently then we’d be a little different from what we are now, and so would our situation, and all the wonderful things that do happen along the way would also be different.
I have to remind myself and we’re trying to teach Nora that the whole process of living is about making a lot of mistakes and learning from them when you can. The advice I’ve heard and that I’m trying to keep front of mind is to enjoy the good when it's good, and endure the bad when it’s bad knowing that some good is coming. Keep looking for the beauty in people, places and things. And always ALWAYS try to see the beauty within yourself. You’re flawed just like everyone else, so be kind to yourself, especially when shit is bad.
That’s not always easy to do, especially for me, but just like everything else I’ve learned on this adventure, it’s something that is required everyday no matter if you’re settled and living a stable life, or if you’re off on an adventure. Life is life.
With all that requires balance in our lives, this is how I’m trying to view things. It’s not always the easiest to practice because things aren’t always great and things aren't always beautiful, but overall, or as Edgar calls it “big picture”, life is good.
I guess that is the true difference. How you view your world, your perspective, and the decisions you make to alter your world when you feel it necessary. We chose to try this adventure and we’re finding out it’s not all good all the time, but nothing in this life is. We're finally settling into the groove of how we do this business of life and our lives right now involve travelling. We have chosen to live our lives in this different way and the new balance we’re starting to find as a family after this many months of being on our adventure is making all the difference.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
~Robert Frost