Communication
by Jenn Lopez
Something we didn’t think of when we were planning this big trip was how very important it was going to be to communicate with each other and the community around us. We obviously knew we’d have to learn different languages and cultural differences but really only looked at the positive sides of it. But after so many months of traveling, I think we were really naive in not considering it more closely.
For Nora and I, it was a full 7 months of not understanding the language surrounding us and therefore not being able to participate in the world around us in the way we’d like. Of course we knew the basics and how to communicate for the necessities, but not enough to be personable or make friends unless they already knew some English. That’s a long time when you’re used to making small chat in line-ups or just being pleasant to people around you. Or when you’re a kid and had to leave all your friends behind because you have crazy parents.
While we were in Mexico, we did eventually get to the point where we could communicate with people when we were spoken to, but that took four months of being in Mexico. And it was always a little anxiety inducing when they did speak to you. You never knew if you’d understand or be understood. It was rough, and it was even rougher when you consider that we were at this day in and day out for 7 months straight. Sure, we had google translate and Nora took lessons, and sure you could get what you needed and wanted, but it’s not the same as just chatting with people and being able to make friends.
The first time we noticed this, was of course for Nora being able to communicate with other children and play. Thankfully most children are being taught English at an early age, and kids are kids, so they could get by with little to no barrier but it was intimidating for her and as our girl found that she wasn’t able to communicate in a way where she felt understood, she got shyer and shyer. She stopped ordering her own food at restaurants (even in the touristy areas), and she would always check with us before trying to say something, in case one of us could say it for her. It was hard to watch her shrink, when one of the main goals on this trip was to see her grow. Thankfully we have a great community of people and she was able to video chat with friends, have online group classes, and still be a kid for the most part. The touristy areas were our saving grace because most people spoke and understood English. I guess the main take away was that no matter where we went, we were foreign, and after 7 months, it becomes very obvious that you are not home.
Fun fact about living like a local, sometimes you’re not in touristy areas. That means little to no-one speaks English and even though you try to learn the language, and some polite words, these are not enough to carry a conversation. Funny enough, if you hit the phrase and accent right, people think you know the language which would normally be very exciting until they respond to you in full speed in whatever language you just two seconds ago felt you were doing really well in. Thank goodness for tools like google translate, but again, it’s no substitute for knowing a language, and when you’re somewhere a month at a time, you want to be able to communicate.
So day after day, month after month, we’d try our best to learn the new language, watch the locals so we’d be culturally aware, and feel helpless to express ourselves fully. And just when we’d start feeling comfortable, we’d move and have to start all over again. Great brain exercise but a little crazy on the nerves.
On top of language, we had to figure out a new city, the metro or bus routes. We’d have to figure out where the grocery stores were, which ones had what we needed and what products were available there versus the previous country. It was a huge learning curve every month and we’ve gained a lot of resiliency because of it, both individually and as a family.
When we took the EuroStar from France to England, we were still technically in France, but were going through the customs portion of the station. It was weird at first to hear everyone speaking English. The feeling of being able to understand without hesitation and to be understood was amazing! We all had an opportunity to be ourselves again, be full of our own individual personalities. The glow on Nora’s face when she started chatting with people was amazing!! We had come through the roughest part of our trip.
I think while we have seen some amazing sites and been to some amazing places, that first week we had in London was one the best. London is amazing in its own right, but on top of all of that, we were able to meet up with friends, we were celebrating Nora’s birthday, and we were all able to communicate with the world around us.
We always try to learn some basic sentences and words before we go to a place, and always pick up more while we’re there. But being immersed in another language and culture for a month at a time, day after day, month after month, for 7 months without breaks, adding in various cultural differences, was rougher than I thought it would be.
In that time, we were tossed into some pretty crazy and unique situations. We’ve grown individually in our ability to be creative in doing what we need to do to communicate and thrive in various situations. We’ve also learned about our own strength and weakness, something we would have never figured out given our comfortable and somewhat uneventful lives we were living prior to this trip.
Most of all, we’ve grown as a family. I think that’s what I’m most proud of. We’re more knowledgeable about each other’s strengths and weaknesses given a situation, especially after the crazy unique ones, and know when to step up for the other or when to let each other figure it out. It's a delicate balance that we’re finally hitting our stride in. Edgar and I have also had an opportunity to see Nora struggle and conquer things. Our girl has grown in leaps and bounds and we couldn’t be more proud. Even with the hard things that go along with a trip like this, the magic of seeing something new for the first time, or seeing it through your child’s eyes for the first time will never get old.
No matter what life throws at us next, I know we’ll be able to handle it with much more love and grace than we ever could have before. We are different people than when we started this crazy adventure, and while nothing is ever perfect, the memories we’ve made on this trip will be stories we tell our friends and family and share with each other for years to come.